The Fool-Proof Guide to Failing with Flair

Everything you need to know about getting it wrong.

Smoking

So here it is, the little smoking vignette that jump-started this whole thing for me:

I would like to fail at smoking. Right now I am a smashing success. It has been pathetically unusual for me to have many successes these days but smoking seems to be my greatest daily accomplishment. I have some mid-range success at drinking (booze, that is) but I’m not sure I will ever reach the pinnacle (or pit) required to motivate me to fail at it. I never forget to have a cigarette with my coffee or after breakfast, lunch and dinner however. I always remember to smoke at the bar and in my car (feeling a little Dr. Seuss here) and before I go to bed. Who knew I could be so good at something? I forget my vitamins on a regular basis. Dishes are always piling up in the sink and the recycling has been sitting by my trash can for weeks, but I remember to smoke every single day. I’m kind of a savant at it. That and word games. Everybody’s gotta have something they’re good at, right? Well I have decided I would rather be an accomplished breather. Stunning, I know. I mean everyone breathes! You’d think I might want to be good at something a little more unique, like cliff diving or toenail art. Truth be told, when it comes to cigarettes, I’ve already smoked the competition. It’s getting old but the field of breathers offers a whole new range of possibilities. Maybe I can be the best. In the end I will surely fail but everyone does.

P.S. Currently I’m still a successful smoker. I’ll get around to failing one of these days . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Queer Guess Code

Unraveling Sex and Gender in Pop Culture

Pleazure Seekers

getting the most from your walk through life

What's Broken

Madness, Magic, and the Writing of my Memoir - What's Broken, What's Breaking Down

Deborah J. Brasket

Living on the Edge of the Wild

WoodArt by Shaina

Beautiful handmade wood paintings for the wood lovers home

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.

Visitant

Literary pilgrims welcome

David Gaughran

Let's Get Digital

NERDSTEAK

Food and Culture Shenanigans

%d bloggers like this: